Bend in the Road

It was here that she jilted me

More than a hundred years ago

Right in this very spot

Right in this bend in the road

Said she found another

Didn’t love me anymore

Broke into tears and ran out of my life

Left me dumbfounded

It was open farmland back then

Not this tangled hardwood mess

That stone wall was there, though

Used it as a step to get to that long branch connected to the big oak

More than a century has passed and I still can’t leave

Can’t face the fact that she won’t come back to me

What if she does and I’m not here?

In this very spot

Overboard

Have you ever heard the sound of more than a thousands souls pleading for their life?

It’s the screams I will never forget

As I sit in my lucky perch, crowded but not crowded enough

Irritated with myself for shivering

The cold Atlantic air is uncomfortable but I should not be so entitled as to entertain the thought

Call it survivor’s guilt

Have you ever heard the sound of more than a thousand souls suddenly stop pleading for their life?

It’s the silence I will never forget.

The Knight

Did he make you laugh?

Is that what drew you in?

Was he kind; did he make you feel special?

Was he ever kind? Or was it a mirage?

Did you thirst for everlasting love; the kind that fairytales and unrealistic dreams flaunt?

Thought you would never quarrel?

He would hold you in those powerful arms; keep your demons at bay

You would be forever his queen

How profoundly horrifying for you

That moment you must have realized

That he didn’t exist

He never did

Friends Since Birth

Did you know when you first entered this world

You looked right at your best friend

I had an idea at the time

You weren’t yet aware of what the heck was going on, yet alone who I was

But through time, you figured it out

So did I

I knew my inklings were true

We’ve had quite a run thus far

And I look forward to the continued ride

I love you, my son

When I’m President 9-23-2021

I don’t plan on running for president anytime soon.  However, if I did, and was elected, things would be a whole lot different around here.  This post is not meant to get into anything political AT ALL, rather, it’s a way for me to blow off a little steam regarding a bunch of things people say WAY TOO MUCH that drive me crazy.  As there are approximately eight gazillion things that bother me, I will share a partial list, say, every Thursday.

So, without further ado, here is my list of catch words, sayings, and phrases that will be OUTLAWED or simply GONE, should I ever become president.  A word of caution, you most likely use one or many of these………

Peeps, as in using social media to post, “Where are all my peeps out there?” 

Vomit inducing.

Butt hurt.  Used to describe someone whose feelings are hurt. 

How about saying, “He’s sensitive?”

Dope.  “I just came back from the best concert ever!  Man, that was DOPE!” 

Man, you sound like an idiot!

You Do You

Nothing to say here.

Chillaxin’

This one is just plain stupid.

It’s 5 o’clock somewhere

Every single Friday from now until the end of time itself, someone will utter this nonsensical phrase at around lunchtime.

Get r done

Please just stop.

The Princess

She sits high on her perch

The ruler of this castle

A splendid position upon which to gaze down on her people

She entertains visitors and well wishers on her time

Only when she is good and ready

Often forcing her loyal followers to wait hours for so much as a glimpse of her

When she finally arrives, it is accompanied with great fanfare, usually a triumphant blazing of a trumpet to signal her appearance

She understands that all are better for spending even a few seconds in her presence

That said, most days are spent in her majesty’s quarters; preening and admiring her perfection

For it takes great care to ooze of such magnificence

On rare occasions, she summons her foot soldiers to attend to and fawn all over her

She is served only the finest caviar; more often than not spoon fed until satisfaction

Her belly full and her pillow fluffed, she has her forehead rubbed by one of her servants until she is sound asleep and dreaming merrily

She is the princess

The Princess

Paradiddle

Life is a little stressful these days. You may have noticed. If not, someone needs to pull you out from under a rock or you need to share whatever it is you’re on.

I spend my days in healthcare. It’s fun. Today I don’t know whether I’m coming or going. I don’t know what I’ve really accomplished, and if I accomplished anything, I don’t remember what that may be. That said, I have found the perfect coping mechanism to get me through all of this craziness: Paradiddles.

A paradiddle is one of 26 rudiments that they teach drummers, and is by far my favorite. “That’s great, Whipped Owl. What exactly IS it?” Okay, here goes: Tap your right hand on your desk. Now your left. Hit the desk two more times with the right. Do the exact opposite. RLRR LRLL. Do it over and over again while keeping a steady tempo. That’s a paradiddle. I LOVE paradiddles.

You drummers know what I’m talking about. I hit my desk all day in this pattern. RLRR LRLL. I lightly tap my feet, as well. It feels so good!

Wanna have try something wild? Tap out emails by hitting the keys in paradiddle pattern. RLRR LRLL.

Go for a drive and make your turns in paradiddle pattern. Right turn, left turn, right turn, right turn. See how far you get without having to turn around!

Really want to turn some heads? Walk to your next meeting taking steps in that pattern. Those double rights create a hop! People think I’m nuts.

And really, that’s the point. You’re going to legitimately go crazy letting this world get the best of you. Try to stop taking everything so seriously. Do a paradiddle.