I don’t plan on running for president anytime soon. However, if I did, and was elected, things would be a whole lot different around here. This post is not meant to get into anything political AT ALL, rather, it’s a way for me to blow off a little steam regarding a bunch of things people say WAY TOO MUCH that drive me crazy. As there are approximately eight gazillion things that bother me, I will share a partial list, say, every Thursday.
So, without further ado, here is my list of catch words, sayings, and phrases that will be OUTLAWED or simply GONE, should I ever become president. A word of caution, you most likely use one or many of these………
Peeps, as in using social media to post, “Where are all my peeps out there?”
Vomit inducing.
Butt hurt. Used to describe someone whose feelings are hurt.
How about saying, “He’s sensitive?”
Dope. “I just came back from the best concert ever! Man, that was DOPE!”
Man, you sound like an idiot!
You Do You
Nothing to say here.
Chillaxin’
This one is just plain stupid.
It’s 5 o’clock somewhere
Every single Friday from now until the end of time itself, someone will utter this nonsensical phrase at around lunchtime.
Life is a little stressful these days. You may have noticed. If not, someone needs to pull you out from under a rock or you need to share whatever it is you’re on.
I spend my days in healthcare. It’s fun. Today I don’t know whether I’m coming or going. I don’t know what I’ve really accomplished, and if I accomplished anything, I don’t remember what that may be. That said, I have found the perfect coping mechanism to get me through all of this craziness: Paradiddles.
A paradiddle is one of 26 rudiments that they teach drummers, and is by far my favorite. “That’s great, Whipped Owl. What exactly IS it?” Okay, here goes: Tap your right hand on your desk. Now your left. Hit the desk two more times with the right. Do the exact opposite. RLRR LRLL. Do it over and over again while keeping a steady tempo. That’s a paradiddle. I LOVE paradiddles.
You drummers know what I’m talking about. I hit my desk all day in this pattern. RLRR LRLL. I lightly tap my feet, as well. It feels so good!
Wanna have try something wild? Tap out emails by hitting the keys in paradiddle pattern. RLRR LRLL.
Go for a drive and make your turns in paradiddle pattern. Right turn, left turn, right turn, right turn. See how far you get without having to turn around!
Really want to turn some heads? Walk to your next meeting taking steps in that pattern. Those double rights create a hop! People think I’m nuts.
And really, that’s the point. You’re going to legitimately go crazy letting this world get the best of you. Try to stop taking everything so seriously. Do a paradiddle.
