When I’m President 10-14-2021

I don’t plan on running for president anytime soon.  However, if I did, and was elected, things would be a whole lot different around here.  This post is not meant to get into anything political AT ALL, rather, it’s a way for me to blow off a little steam regarding a bunch of things people say WAY TOO MUCH that drive me crazy.  As there are approximately eight gazillion things that bother me, I will share a partial list, say, every Thursday.

So, without further ado, here is my list of catch words, sayings, and phrases that will be OUTLAWED or simply GONE, should I ever become president.  A word of caution, you most likely use one or many of these………

I’m not going to lie

That’s good.  You shouldn’t.

Coinkidink

Just plain dumb.

All over it like white on rice

What if I want brown rice?  No mention of that.

Awesome sauce

Foolishness

Been there, done that

Old and tired.  I especially love it (my eyes are rolling) when they follow it up with, “…….and bought the shirt.”

Easy peasy (lemon squeazy)

Hi there.  I’m your new president.  It’s time for you to leave the country.

I got your back

Well, give it back to me.  It makes it easier to support my neck and head.

When I’m President 10-7-2021

I don’t plan on running for president anytime soon.  However, if I did, and was elected, things would be a whole lot different around here.  This post is not meant to get into anything political AT ALL, rather, it’s a way for me to blow off a little steam regarding a bunch of things people say WAY TOO MUCH that drive me crazy.  As there are approximately eight gazillion things that bother me, I will share a partial list, say, every Thursday.

So, without further ado, here is my list of catch words, sayings, and phrases that will be OUTLAWED or simply GONE, should I ever become president.  A word of caution, you most likely use one or many of these………

Me Thinks

The Battle of Gettysburg was the turning point of the Civil War, methinks.

Anyone who uses this ridiculous “word” is out of my country, I think.

No Soup For You, Yadda Yadda Yadda, Festivus

I loved Seinfeld, AND, when the show was in prime time, I DID use some of the catchphrases and sayings in my everyday life. BUT THE SHOW ENDED MORE THAN 20 YEARS AGO! Every holiday, some bozo in the office will still go around wishing everyone a happy Festivus. And No soup for you. People will blurt this one out for any situation, even if it makes no sense. Just stop already!

BFF

NO!

Crickets

I asked them what on earth they thought they were doing.  Crickets.

I have sat in complete silence before and actually heard NOTHING.  Not even crickets.

Could hear a pin drop

The visiting team scored five runs in the top of the ninth inning, and you could hear a pin drop.

Even if NONE of the 20,000 people in the stands were talking at that moment, you still wouldn’t be able to hear a pin drop.  Even by the person who dropped the pin.

Fly on the wall

I’d like to be a fly on the wall at that meeting.

No, you probably wouldn’t.  Someone in the meeting might take a fly swatter to you and then continue with their meeting like nothing happened.

When I’m President 9-16-2021

I don’t plan on running for president anytime soon.  However, if I did, and was elected, things would be a whole lot different around here.  This post is not meant to get into anything political AT ALL, rather, it’s a way for me to blow off a little steam regarding a bunch of things people say WAY TOO MUCH that drive me crazy.  As there are approximately eight gazillion things that bother me, I will share a partial list, say, every Thursday.

I watch a lot of murder shows on television. It just is an interest of mine. I enjoy them all. Mysteries, cold cases, investigations, etc. That said, they are LOADED with catchphrases that drive me nuts! Here are the biggest culprits.

Everybody knows everybody, as in, “It’s such as small town where everybody knows everybody.”  I live in a small town.  I don’t even know the guy who lives across the street, let alone everyone else in town.

Everyone loved her.  This is a phrase commonly used to talk about a murder victim, as in, “I don’t know who could do something like this to her.  Everyone loved her.”  Um, somebody clearly didn’t.

This sort of thing just doesn’t happen here.  Um, it just did!

Red flags, alarm bells, bells and whistles.

Smoking gun, as in, “Police have some evidence, but they don’t have the smoking gun.”  Probably because the perpetrator threw it into the cold river bottom.

Canvasing, as in, “Police are canvasing the area.”  Sounds to me like something Picasso would do.

Hit the Pavement, as in, “Detectives hit the pavement trying to find clues.”  This seems to me like a waste of time.

Also, for the love of God, if you’re going to commit a crime as serious as murder, do yourself a Huuuuuuuuge favor:

1. Leave your damn cell phone at home.  Don’t bring it to the scene of the crime.  I don’t know how many of these shows I’ve watched, the perpetrator was caught because his phone pinged off the cell tower next door to the house where the crime was committed.
2. Do not attempt to cash in on the life insurance money less than eight hours from the second the victim stopped breathing.  Detectives pick up on this extremely quick.  If possible, you may want to wait 30 days or so, you know, so you can give off some impression that you were grieving your loss.
3. Do not have your trash picked up on the street.  Instead, take the time and effort to drive your trash across at least two state lines to discard.  DNA, people.  DNA.

When I’m President 9-9-2021

These overused sayings and catchphrases will be “Gone”

I don’t plan on running for president anytime soon.  However, if I did, and was elected, things would be a whole lot different around here.  This post is not meant to get into anything political AT ALL, rather, it’s a way for me to blow off a little steam regarding a bunch of things people say WAY TO MUCH that drive me crazy.  As there are approximately eight gazillion things that bother me, I will share a partial list, say, every Thursday.

So, without further ado, here is my list of catch words, sayings, and phrases that will be OUTLAWED or simply GONE, should I ever become president.  A word of caution, you most likely use one or many of these………

Said No One Ever, as in, “I can’t wait for Monday morning…..said no one ever.”

Just Sayin’

The misuse of the word Dude, as in, “Thank goodness I started Patrick Mahomes on my fantasy team yesterday.  Dude had a monster game.”

Overemphasizing the first part of Bye Bye, as in saying, “Buh-Bye now.”

Throwing the baby out with the bath water.  Just plain stupid.

Food For Thought.  My thoughts need no nourishment, thank you.

At the end of the day, as in, “At the end of the day, we still have everything we need.”  Wouldn’t it be more important to have everything you need at the BEGINNING of the day?  That way you don’t waste time and resources getting all the stuff.

Play nice in the sandbox

People who think they are still witty by referring to the holidays as Festivus.

Think outside the box.  It’s time to retire this one.

Boots on the ground.

On the same page

If you ask someone how they are doing and they respond, It’s Friday.  I know what day it is!

And then you ask them after the weekend and they say, Not bad for a Monday

It is what it is.  No, really?

Adulting

Commenting on someone’s online post with only the word, THIS, when in agreement of what they said.

Overuse of periods when trying to make a special point, as in, “These stupid catchphrases need to stop.  LIKE.RIGHT.NOW.”

Referring to the word” crazy” as, Cray Cray

MEH

That’s enough for now. I need to go lie down.