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When I’m President 1-13-2022

I don’t plan on running for president anytime soon.  However, if I did, and was elected, things would be a whole lot different around here.  This post is not meant to get into anything political AT ALL, rather, it’s a way for me to blow off a little steam regarding a bunch of things people say WAY TOO MUCH that drive me crazy.  As there are approximately eight gazillion things that bother me, I will share a partial list, say, every Thursday.

So, without further ado, here is my list of catch words, sayings, and phrases that will be OUTLAWED or simply GONE, should I ever become president.  A word of caution, you most likely use one or many of these………

Dressed to the nines

I will not even entertain this one.

Woot woot

A lot of folks use this one on social media when they are happy.  I have an entirely separate rant about social media, but that will be for another time.  Take it from me.  This one is stupid.

Sit-e-ation

Let me correct you.  Sit-U-ation. 

Burbs

Used to shorten the word, “suburbs.”  Which is not all that necessary.  Suburbs is a rather easy word to say.  Now, if you wanted to shorten the word, “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious,” I’d entertain it.  Not suburbs.

My neck of the woods

The woods I live there have no neck.  They have trees, leaves, stumps, shrubs, and animals.  No neck or really any body parts.  If there were body parts out there, I would have found them already.  Unless I’m the one that buried them. 

Sheep

Followers are criticized as sheep, which really makes me think of something.  What are we supposed to call actual sheep that are following?  Sheep?  That’s what they are.  How is that sarcastic?

Outside the box

This is used a lot in business.  Let’s think outside the box.  How big is this supposed box that every organization in the world gets saddled inside?  You would think that ONE company has someone who can think outside this box without being told to.

When I’m President 1-6-2022

I don’t plan on running for president anytime soon.  However, if I did, and was elected, things would be a whole lot different around here.  This post is not meant to get into anything political AT ALL, rather, it’s a way for me to blow off a little steam regarding a bunch of things people say WAY TOO MUCH that drive me crazy.  As there are approximately eight gazillion things that bother me, I will share a partial list, say, every Thursday.

So, without further ado, here is my list of catch words, sayings, and phrases that will be OUTLAWED or simply GONE, should I ever become president.  A word of caution, you most likely use one or many of these………

Takes the cake

“That just takes the cake.”  What if I’m watching my waistline?  I wouldn’t want cake.  Maybe I’d like an apple.  Nobody says, “That just takes the apple.”  Poor apple.  It’s always left out.  And I keep gaining weight.

Brownie points

Trying to get on someone’s good side is often considered trying to get brownie points.  Same thing as taking the cake.  Maybe I want to score some apple points.  Apparently, it’s not an option. 

Cut from the same cloth

People who act in a similar manner are said to be cut from the same cloth.  I was totally unaware my being was formed out of cloth.  I clearly took those sex education classes too literally.

Fit as a fiddle

There are millions of things that are more fit than a fiddle.  How about a power lifter?  A bikini model?  Why are we lowering our expectations of what it means to be in good shape or in good health?  A fiddle?  Come on!

Take a deeper dive

When someone wants to take a closer look at something, they take a deeper dive.  This could be unwise.  What if I’m hunting and I come across a pile of bear scat?  I may want to examine it to see what the bear has been eating.  I’m certainly not going to dive into it!  I’m especially not going to dive deeper into it! 

A game of cat and mouse

Taken from Merriam Webster:

to engage in behavior that is like the way a cat chases a mouse or plays with a mouse before killing it —used especially to describe behavior in which someone says or does different things to deceive or control other people, to avoid being caught, etc.

Okay, I think I may understand this one.  My first wife (more than 25 years ago) informed me she was not happy with our marriage because we always seemed to be living paycheck to paycheck.  I volunteered to work overtime to bring in some extra cash.  She did, as well.  Only her “overtime” was with our car mechanic.  This may have been playing a game of cat and mouse, no?

Peanut gallery

“I don’t want to hear any more from the peanut gallery.”  Just dumb!  I’m more likely to say, “Shut the f&#k up!” 

When I’m President 12-16-2021

I don’t plan on running for president anytime soon.  However, if I did, and was elected, things would be a whole lot different around here.  This post is not meant to get into anything political AT ALL, rather, it’s a way for me to blow off a little steam regarding a bunch of things people say WAY TOO MUCH that drive me crazy.  As there are approximately eight gazillion things that bother me, I will share a partial list, say, every Thursday.

So, without further ado, here is my list of catch words, sayings, and phrases that will be OUTLAWED or simply GONE, should I ever become president.  A word of caution, you most likely use one or many of these………

Going to the ship

This nauseating saying references when someone’s team advances to the championship game.  I hope they lose.

What say you?

You don’t want me to say anything.

Sesh

Short for, “session.”  We are actually too lazy to verbalize the word, “session.” 

Ladies and germs

Dumb.

Spoiler alert

It was fine to use this when actually discussing a movie or TV show, but now we’ve become ridiculous with this one.

All the cool kids are doing it

If you are using this phrase, you are the furthest thing from cool.

What happens in Vegas…….

It was a witty commercial decades ago.  Now, people use it for every place they go.  If someone has four beers in Tulsa, they’ll say, “What happens in Tulsa…….”