On My Pillow

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When I put my head on my pillow

The magic starts

I meet people

People far more interesting and kind than in real life

Strangers

Acquaintances

Family and friends

Blemishes in character voided

Debts are nonexistent

Mine and theirs

New loves spellbinding

Some brand new; some recurring

But all miraculous and mythical just the same

I don’t know them but I love them unconditionally

I wake ready to take on the world

For just a mere moment

Until the realization

That it wasn’t real

I plod through the day

I can’t wait to put my head on my pillow tonight

Boardwalk

Summer

Crashing Waves

Sweet salt smell perforates my senses

The boardwalk

You

You were the difference that summer

Eight weeks of breathtaking bliss

Your hand in mine

Our lips intertwined

Fulfillment

We made a promise

To each other

A commitment

It felt so right

But a commitment under the stars of a teenage summer

Hardly carries the weight of a binding agreement

Such commitments harbor puncture wounds

Fissures that lead directly to heartbreak

For one or both sides

Letters pledging undying and enduring love come rapidly

In the days following those amazing eight weeks

However, written allegiances cannot sustain

They wilt under the increasing cooler temperatures

Death comes quick to such allegiances by first snowfall

All that is left is the empty boardwalk

The Man

The man actually existed

Some 40 years ago, anyway

Committed a most unthinkable act

And slipped into the night

Vanished

Nary a trace

It’s like his crime never took place

Save for the victim

And the family

He’d be iconic, legendary

If he wasn’t so horrific

And if we knew who he was

Perfection

Perfection

It’s how I describe yesterday

It wasn’t predicted

Wasn’t written in stone

But today a new feeling resides within me

I call it a turning point

A day in which future days will be compared

Fair or not

Yesterday

Perfection

Guilty

They know it’s me

It’ll be confirmed soon

Maybe not today

Or tomorrow

Or next week

But I must watch behind me

Had I known of this borrowed time I would have used it more wisely

Bettered myself

Into the person who never would have done this

Now I see the writing on the wall

The fire burns deep in the pit of my innards

Clammy, sweaty hands

An exhausted and overworked mind

What will it look like

When they finally come for me

Alter my fate

All that is left is to tell as many people as possible how much I love them

Thank them for their friendship and endearment

For I am unlikely to see them again

Heart and Mind

I hark back to those days

I put it all on the line for you

And I was so sure

Despite the well meaning words of caution

Misguided emotion provoked radical reform

Despite my apprehension

Funny thing when that happens

When the heart and mind collide

The heart always triumphs

But the mind eventually proves to be the wiser

Talons

Sharp

The talons dig deep today

Deep holes puncture my skin

Bleeding

Fractures my well being

Endangers my psyche

Oh, how to deflect the swipes?

How to understand they’re but mere flesh wounds?

That the attempt is robust but the meaning is weak?

Frustrating that I understand this

But cannot bring myself to believe so

Time

It was over

Despite a good run

My heart no longer fluttered

Not in her direction, anyway

My affection led me astray

Into the arms of a new beloved

Demanded my burning attention

It was the right path

At that time

Ah, time

The undefeated and unbeatable arch nemisis

Time always proves to be correct

It points out that fluttering hearts change over time

Or that we neglect the warning signs at that moment of clear decision

Signs that may not be seen for years

But they will emerge

And once again, time will point its accusatory finger at you

Taunting

Flaunting its perfect record

And you’ll be left picking up the pieces

Until next time

Star

You have all that it takes

To be a star

Receive never ending accolades

Fame

Notoriety

Prestige

I once wanted that

For me

Wasn’t meant to be

Now I wish that for you

Question is, do you wish for that too?

Am I pushing you too much?

Do your desires match mine?

Am I prepared for the answer?

Texas Spring

That spring morning was the nexus

Between heaven and hell

Rapture and anguish

A mere opening of the door

Revealed the first day of the end of his life

There are things no father should see

Yet, once seen, it cannot be unseen

Life transitions

Time procrastinates

Waiting to die is all that’s left

And the wait is agonizing