When I’m President 3-24-2022

I don’t plan on running for president anytime soon.  However, if I did, and was elected, things would be a whole lot different around here.  This post is not meant to get into anything political AT ALL, rather, it’s a way for me to blow off a little steam regarding a bunch of things people say WAY TOO MUCH that drive me crazy.  As there are approximately eight gazillion things that bother me, I will share a partial list, say, every Thursday.

So, without further ado, here is my list of catch words, sayings, and phrases that will be OUTLAWED or simply GONE, should I ever become president.  A word of caution, you most likely use one or many of these………

To die for

“That apple pie was to die for!”  No, it isn’t.  NOTHING that is to be consumed is worth dying over.    

Bigger fish to fry

When a problem or an issue is deemed not too important, someone might say they have bigger fish to fry.  How big?  A shark?  What if I’m not particularly hungry at that moment and I only feel like frying a small fish?  I’m not always starving to where I need to fry larger fish.

Plenty of fish in the sea

Staying with the fish theme, when someone experiences a break-up, they might say there are plenty of fish in the sea.  This may be true, but it has little to no bearing on whether I rebound.

A good shit

This one is actually a COMPLIMENT!  It’s a good thing to be called a good shit.  No thank you!  I’m not interested at all!

Delish

Another word that we shorten to either sound cool or because we are too lazy to say the entire word.  Stupid.

Asking for a friend

Here’s one that is used to disguise you are asking for yourself.  Perhaps the thing you are asking about is so embarrassing, you may lose all your friends if they found out you were inquiring about it?

Dollars to doughnuts

When one is so sure of themselves, they are willing to bet something of value for something of much smaller value.  My argument against this one is that I’ve come across many doughnuts in my lifetime whose value FAR exceeded that of a measly dollar.  But nobody every says they will bet doughnuts to dollars.  And what if we are only somewhat sure of ourselves.  Do we substitute dollars for say, pennies?  “I’ll bet you pennies to dust that I am correct.”

Author: Whipped Owl

Writer Musician Historian Sportsman Loner

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