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When I’m President 12-30-2021

I don’t plan on running for president anytime soon.  However, if I did, and was elected, things would be a whole lot different around here.  This post is not meant to get into anything political AT ALL, rather, it’s a way for me to blow off a little steam regarding a bunch of things people say WAY TOO MUCH that drive me crazy.  As there are approximately eight gazillion things that bother me, I will share a partial list, say, every Thursday.

So, without further ado, here is my list of catch words, sayings, and phrases that will be OUTLAWED or simply GONE, should I ever become president.  A word of caution, you most likely use one or many of these………

Screw you and the horse you rode in on

Unless you’re talking to George Washington or Paul Revere, this phrase makes no sense.  Stop using it.

On it like Donkey Kong

No!

How do you like them apples?

Which ones?  Mcintosh or Cortlands?  What if I don’t like apples?  Do I say, “I hate them?” 

You feel me?

No, because that is inappropriate behavior and I would never engage in that.

You know what I’m saying?

Unless I am deaf or simply ignoring you (a definite possibility), yes.

This is for the birds

This is used for something we don’t particularly care for.  For example, one might say, “This Covid is for the birds.”  What did the birds ever do to deserve such a fate?  All they do is sing for us every morning and look pretty flying through our yards and we want to pawn off all the crap we don’t want for ourselves.

Shit show

Whenever something is going poorly, we resort to this stupid saying.  “Work today was a shit show.”  Actually, unless the sewer pipes burst, and they were selling tickets and offering seating plans, it was just a bad day at work.

Author: Whipped Owl

Writer Musician Historian Sportsman Loner

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