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When I’m President 12-9-2021

I don’t plan on running for president anytime soon.  However, if I did, and was elected, things would be a whole lot different around here.  This post is not meant to get into anything political AT ALL, rather, it’s a way for me to blow off a little steam regarding a bunch of things people say WAY TOO MUCH that drive me crazy.  As there are approximately eight gazillion things that bother me, I will share a partial list, say, every Thursday.

So, without further ado, here is my list of catch words, sayings, and phrases that will be OUTLAWED or simply GONE, should I ever become president.  A word of caution, you most likely use one or many of these………

In da house

No comment.

D Fence

For 50 years, at every NFL football game, at least one person is holding up a large “D,” while his buddy has a large fence.  It must stop.

Light up the room

“She would just light up the room.”  Anyone can do that provided they have any of the following:  a flashlight, candle, or a lamp with electricity.  It’s not that big of a deal.

Sorry, not sorry

Hi, I’m your new president.  You just got life in prison for saying that.

Piece of the pie

“Everybody should get their piece of the pie.”  Why a pie?  I’d rather get my piece of a large Nestle Crunch Dairy Queen blizzard.  With chocolate soft serve.

You can lead a horse to water

I knew a guy who had a horse.  Never once did he have to lead the horse to water.  No, the thing must have been a downright genius because he could find the water all by himself. 

Dangling the carrot

This is to convince someone to do something.  Let me tell you something.  If you want me to do something, dangling a carrot will send me in the opposite direction.

Author: Whipped Owl

Writer Musician Historian Sportsman Loner

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