When I’m President 11-4-2021

I don’t plan on running for president anytime soon.  However, if I did, and was elected, things would be a whole lot different around here.  This post is not meant to get into anything political AT ALL, rather, it’s a way for me to blow off a little steam regarding a bunch of things people say WAY TOO MUCH that drive me crazy.  As there are approximately eight gazillion things that bother me, I will share a partial list, say, every Thursday.

So, without further ado, here is my list of catch words, sayings, and phrases that will be OUTLAWED or simply GONE, should I ever become president.  A word of caution, you most likely use one or many of these………

Get out of jail free card

It usually takes a parole hearing, and then, nobody gets a card that gives them the freedom to simply walk out.

Debbie Downer

I knew a Debbie.  She was extremely upbeat.  Now, Cassie, she was always a downer.  So stop being such a Cassie Downer.

Whodunnit

Stupid.

Thrown under the bus

What about a locomotive?  Nobody ever says, “She threw me under the locomotive.” 

And, I’m not a small guy.  She would have to be awfully strong to throw me anywhere.

Rock star

Often used to describe one’s best employee.  “That Debbie!  Not only is she always upbeat, but she also does a great job!  She’s a rock star!”

Debbie does not play a musical instrument.  I do, and I’m NOT a rock star.  If I were, I wouldn’t be writing this post.  No, Debbie is merely a fantastic employee.  She will have to be satisfied with that.

At the end of the day

This one is used to build us up for the most important stuff.  “At the end of the day, I feel our relationship is not working.”

Why do we always have to wait for the end of the day for resolution?  I would rather get it over with at the beginning of the day.  That way I have time to pack my stuff and get out of there.  Next time, simply say, “I have a whole bunch of nonsensical things I could say, but I’m going to save us both some time and tell you now at the beginning of the day.  We’re through!  Get out!”

Anywho

Instead of “anyhow.”  It’s dumb, mindless, and doesn’t save any time by way of abbreviation.

Author: Whipped Owl

Writer Musician Historian Sportsman Loner

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