Ah, the traditional wedding reception
Coming to an American Legion near you
It starts on the front steps of the church
Right after the most beautiful ceremony
We get to stand in a line for 45 minutes
To shake hands with the people we just watched get married
Now we can drive to the Legion for part two
And wait
And wait
And wait some more
Sometimes up to two hours
Are they here yet?
Cousin Ralph thought he saw a limo pull up out back!
Nope, just a Suburban.
Damn!
Eureka! It’s time!
A portly DJ is going to use his deep, but forced perfect for radio voice to announce the entire wedding party
Mom, Dad, Mom, Stepdad, Dad, and the eight bridesmaids and eight groomsmen
And it’s a good thing we’re getting this introduction
I brought four of these people here
They should instead introduce the people in the audience to each other
I know NONE of them
I never do
The clinking of glasses
Brings a deep cringe to me
Why didn’t they use paper cups?
Ah, throwing of the bouquet
Where a collection of single women portray a WWE cage match to catch flowers that are going to die
I always wonder what enormous pressure it must be for the one who caught it
The garter belt
Gives folks the opportunity a be creepy for free
There’s always one redneck who makes a sexist joke that is hardly funny
Cue the DJ
“It’s time to cut the cake!”
Ooooohhhhhhhh! Everyone stop what you’re doing!
Some poor lady poured her heart and soul in making this thing and Jethro is going to smash it into his new bride’s face because his pals egged him on
Nauseating
The dollar dance
The chicken dance (mandatory for every wedding reception)
The electric slide
Hey! They’re leaving! Get the rice! The rice!
The masses are eating this stuff up! Having a grand time!
Here’s a word of advice
If you’re going to have a traditional wedding reception
And you know me
PLEASE forget to send my invitation
You’ll get a much nicer gift
Whipped Owl 
An eventful inspired share. Thank you very much for your visit and following. Tower And Flights – AmericaOnCoffee
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